nobody knows what they're doing (and that's the point)

The story I keep coming back to is from college.

I'd walk into fraternity/sorority events solo, spot one of those big wraparound tables with 10 girls all talking to each other, and nobody from my fraternity going anywhere near them. So I'd just walk up. No plan. No idea what I was going to say. I'd make stuff up as I went.

Uncomfortable the first couple times. Then I realized nobody was watching and nobody actually cared what I said. I ended up being the most socially connected person in those rooms -- because I was the only one willing to be an idiot.

This was maybe a year after I had serious self-confidence issues. I grew up in Odessa -- oil patch, West Texas, energy capital of the US. Boring as hell for a kid who knew early he needed to get out. I was determined. But I also had this deeply ingrained thing where I defaulted to whoever was in charge. Teachers, parents. I just submitted.

That pattern came into corporate America with me.

I graduated in '07, recession hit in '08, I got a job and thought I was lucky to have it. Stayed. Did roughly the same thing for 5-7 years. Got married, had kids, told myself the lie that I was doing it for them. The real story: I assumed the people above me knew more than me. So I stayed quiet. Didn't rock the boat. Waited for something to change.

Nothing changed.

Eventually the pressure got bad enough -- growing family, bad raises, a job that was just fine -- that I forced myself into sales. I needed to make real money and I knew I could talk to people. Same pressure that got me to walk up to that table at 22.

Here's what I know at 41: almost nobody knows what they're doing.

I mean that as permission, not as a cheap shot. The bosses who seemed untouchable were running off instinct and politics. The stable companies I worked for were held together with duct tape. The authority I spent years deferring to was mostly people figuring it out as they went, same as everyone.

If you're building a solo business and still operating like you need permission to raise your rates, or reach out to a client who feels like a stretch, that's the same pattern. And it was put in you a long time ago.

At 22 I walked up to a table of strangers with zero plan. I'm running a version of that now -- $13k/mo through Barron Tech, testing my ICP, qualifying harder than I did a year ago, getting results I can actually point to. I moved before I had certainty, and that's the only reason there's anything to test.

The only constraint I actually believe in is time.

Control your time and you're in charge. Hand it over and you're not. I've got partial control right now and I'm working toward full. But I'm moving -- not waiting for someone to tell me I'm ready.

Teach your kids this before they spend a decade unlearning the opposite.

To your solopreneur success,

Matt Barron