I closed a big deal Friday. Then I gave myself a B+ as a dad.

The Solopreneur Copilot

P.S. read an web version of this email here: barrontech.kit.com/posts/

Closed a really big deal on Friday. Had a great weekend with the kids. Stayed off the phone most of it.

I gave myself a B+ as a dad this week.

The standard I want to operate at is higher than what I delivered. And I’m honest enough with myself to say it out loud.

The myth

The myth solo founders sell themselves is that the business and the family are on the same team. Win at the business and the family wins. Make more money and you’ll be more present. Build the company and the kids will benefit.

That’s the lie I told myself for about 15 years inside corporate. “I’m doing this for the family.” Spring break in Mexico, 2023, everyone napping, me sitting wide awake on the bed obsessing about deals I had to close. I told myself I was doing it for the family. The truth was I was doing it for the company and using the family as the reason I couldn't stop.

The reality

Business will eat the family if you let it. Every solo founder I respect has had to build the discipline to make the business serve the life. The default outcome is the opposite.

The dads I see crossing their fingers and letting other people raise their kids are doing it because the math is hard. Daycare, school, after school programs, screens, sports, summer camps. We hand them off to systems that are convenient and we tell ourselves we’re providing.

You’re risking the most important thing you have when you do that. Your job is replaceable. Your kids aren’t.

There’s a stat I keep coming back to. Microsoft gives new dads 6 months of paternity leave. 6 months. And I’ve watched colleagues take it and come back terrified that the org wrote them off while they were gone. Severe anxiety counting down the days. The company moves fast. People get re-orged. New leaders show up. You come back to a seat that has shifted underneath you.

That’s the bargain. You trade time with your newborn for the chance that your job is still there at the end of it. And that bargain is only required because the entire model assumes the company is the priority and the family fits in around it.

I don’t want to live inside that model anymore. That’s part of why I’m building what I’m building.

The breakdown

Here’s what I’m actually doing about it. Imperfect. Just what’s working right now.

Working from home is the single best change in society in 20 years. I remember getting called into offices in the early 2010s when nothing about my job required it. I’m responsive. I deliver. Why would I waste 2 hours a day commuting so somebody can watch me sit in a chair. Working from home means I get the in-between moments with my boys that you can’t get back.

I’m ruthless about meetings. Most are time wasters run by people who don’t know how to run them. I won’t sit on a call to listen to somebody ramble for an hour. There’s not enough time in life. If you can’t tell me the goal of the meeting in one sentence, I’m not coming.

Time freedom is the goal. Income is the tool that buys it. The minute I let income become the actual goal, I start trading hours I can’t get back to chase a number that doesn’t matter as much as the time it cost me.

The boys come first. The work fits around them. School pickup, baseball practice, the random Tuesday afternoon when my 12 year old wants to talk about something that matters to him. Those windows close fast. They don’t open back up.

That’s why a B+ grade isn’t acceptable to me. The boys deserve more than crossing my fingers and hoping the system raises them. So do yours.

What it looks like in practice

If you’re solo and you have kids, the real question is how to architect this so the business serves the life you want for them. Working harder to provide more is the corporate trap rebranded.

That means saying no to clients who eat your evenings. It means killing meetings that don’t move pipeline. It means turning income into assets your kids will actually inherit. It means showing up for the boring Tuesdays just as hard as the big moments.

I’m not perfect at any of it. But I know what an A looks like, and I’m building toward it on purpose.

That’s the part the corporate model can’t give you. And that’s the part I’m not willing to trade.

Play the decade game with me.

To your solopreneur success,

Matt Barron

P.S. All previous emails can be read here: barrontech.kit.com​

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